I found this and laughed so hard I thought it was worth passing on to my dear readers.
In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumples sheets (-1)
You leave the toilet seat up (-5)
You replace the tiolet paper roll when it is empty (0)
When the tiolet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex (-1)
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom (-2)
When she wants to talk about a problem:
You listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+5)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+100)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-20)
She asks, "Do I look Fat?"
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)
Here is the website where I found this: http://www.theromantic.com/stories/iloveyou/iloveyou28.htm
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